Show me the Monster
by BlondieOnPaper
Summary: I hadn't seen my father in over 5 years, and I found out he sold me to solve some of his debts. He sold me to the Clown Prince of Crime: The Joker. I ran from my home, changed my name and my identity in order to stay hidden. When I was caught I had to spend a lot of time with him. And to my misfortune... he had decided to make me his. In every way possible.
1. Sold to the Joker

"What?" I asked in disbelief. "You can't be serious?" I knew my father was stupid but I hadn't spoken to him for years.

"I'm sorry gal." Spencer spoke from the other end. "He sold you."

"But he can't. He doesn't own me, he can't sell me away to anyone." I protested; I knew my father was in trouble but I was disconnected from all of it.

"I'm so sorry I only just found out but you need to get out of your house." He said and I could hear rustling in the background. "Get yourself to my club and I'll do my best to protect you."

I began to shove my belongings into a duffel bag. "Won't you get hurt?"

He laughed slightly. "If it means to keep you safe I'll take the risk." Spencer told me a year ago that he loved me, but I just couldn't return his feelings. Not with who and what I am. "You need to get out of there right now, we can't let this guy find out about you."

He sounded extremely scared, which worried me as nothing scared him. Spencer was nearly 7 feet tall with the body of The Mountain from Game of Thrones. He had this mocha coloured skin, bald head but with a small beard, and he worse bright yellow coloured contact lenses for his eyes. He had several piercings on his ear and one on the left side of his bottom lip. I had never known him to be frightened of anything. "Wait… you said he sold me. To who?" I asked, though I was dreading the answer. There was a silence as I threw my bag in the passenger seat and got in my car, it was killing me. All of this. "Spencer?! Tell me God dammit!" I yelled.

I think this woke him up as he knew I didn't raise my voice often. "He sold you to him." I started the engine.

"Who Spencer? I need specifics." I half rolled my eyes as I pulled out of my drive.

"The Joker."

 **A/N: So I saw Suicide Squad the other day and loved it! So the Joker in this story will borrow elements from Leto's portrayal. Please let me know what you think and feel free to help me as this is my first Joker fic.**


	2. Escape into hiding

**A/N:**

 **I'm so excited to write this story, I have so many ideas of where this could go.**

 **isuzi: I certainly will seeing as you like it :)**

 **crazywriter9: I know right? But I suppose we have to make the most of our circumstances :P**

 **jodyowl11: I did as well! Like he gave me chills, I wanted more of him though :/**

 **Anyway I'll leave you to read now**

I put the pedal to the metal. I sped through the streets of Gotham, the traffic practically non-existent due to the fact it was 3.37am. I kept rubbing my eyes; tears of both frustration and fear kept falling down my cheeks. My father had sold me to possibly the worst person possible, and I bet he knew this too. I knew he had gambling problems and whatnot but, selling me? He had no right. I'm not some piece of property he owned to give away. Somehow I doubt the Joker would care about my opinions though. Ever since he got his Harley back, they have been reigning as the King and Queen of Gotham and evidently he was more ruthless than ever. Spencer worked with the Joker, that's probably how he knew about my father's plans. When I say 'worked' though, it's more of Spencer giving Joker a portion of profit and the Joker wouldn't torch his place.

I parked by the bay, left the handbrake off so I could push the car into the water. I speed walked the rest of the way to Spencer's club making sure to stay in the shadows as much as possible. Finally, after what seemed like too long the flashing lights of Spencer's club 'Rapture' came into view. I walked around the back and let myself in using the key Spencer gave me a while ago. I was greeted by a gun click; Spencer was holding his lilac tinted metal gun at my head. "Spenz?" I asked.

He realised it was me. "Jesus Tabatha." He lowered his gun before pulling me into a hug, my feet easily lifting gently off the ground as I wrapped my arms around his strong shoulders. "Thank God you got here, I was getting worried." He said into my hair before kissing me on the forehead and putting me on the floor.

"Thanks for the heads up." I shrugged. "Spenz what am I going to do?" I asked hopelessly.

He rubbed my shoulders. "We have it planned out." He said before slinging my duffle bag over his shoulder and leading me towards the bar of his club.

I saw all of the members of staff; the barmen, waitresses and even the dancers. "What's going on?" I asked, getting highly confused as to why he was involving more people than needed.

"We're going to help hide you." The main barman Freddie said.

I shook my head. "No way." I saw several of them cross their arms. "Guys this is the Joker we're talking about." Still none of them seemed to budge. "He will kill you if he finds out, I won't risk your lives because of what my father did."

"Exactly!" Jane said; the sparkles of her eye makeup visible as evidence from her dancing of tonight. For a moment I thought she was agreeing with my idea to not involve them, until I saw that smirk of hers. "It wasn't your fault. It was that muppet's fault. We're gonna help keep you away from Mister J."

I shook my head. "You can't be serious." I looked at each of their faces. "Why the hell would you do this?"

"I would be dead if not for you." Henry said, his small stature he often made up for with his clever mind. "You peeled me off the streets and helped me get my life back." He said softly.

"Yeah and you helped set me up with Sally." Gemma said wrapping her arm around her girlfriend's waist with a smile.

"Yeah and you helped me pay my hospital bills." Philly added.

I looked at all of them and I knew them too well to hope they would change their lives. "You've touched all of them Tabs. Whether you like it or not, we're going to hide you from him." Spencer said while touching my hand.

I could have cried but thankfully I cried enough tonight. "How? No matter where I go he's gonna find me. He has goons everywhere." I reasoned.

"That's the beauty of it." Spencer grinned. "We're gonna hide you under his own nose." I cocked an eyebrow. "We'll give you a bit of a makeover, new name, and a new identity. He won't recognise the new you"

I sighed. "Alright then." I gave up.

I looked at the mirror and my new appearance the next morning. I used to have blonde hair that went to my waist, and blue eyes. I never used to wear makeup at all so seeing my face with this smoky eyes and red lips was a bit weird for me. They died my hair to a dark purple colour and we had cut it short to just above my shoulders, course the curls were still there. We pierced my ears and along my helix and I wore green coloured contact lenses. And then to top off the gothic look I wore a pair of tight black trousers, knee high boots, and a low cut dark red top. We made sure that my clothing would cover my tattoo of a cat just above the right side of my hip; a little thing in memory of my mum who used to nickname me her 'little tabby cat'. I slid a few bangles on my arms before heading downstairs.

I had stayed in Spencer's flat overnight after the stylists had finished with me. The story was that I was Spencer's new wife Cara; we only have been married for 4 months but I recently been very ill hence the Joker hadn't heard about me as Spencer was scared I would die… yada yada yada. The thought of coming face to face with the Joker sent chills down my spine but I did agree with Spencer; he wouldn't expect me to still be in the city, never mind that I was with one of his clients. He was at the table in the middle of the kitchen, breakfast being my favourite of waffles. He smiled when he saw me enter the room. "I don't think I'll get used to seeing you like this." He laughed slightly. "You look good though. Those stylists weren't messing around."

I smiled as I sat down with him and we began to eat the food he made. "I don't know how to thank you Spenz." I said between mouthfuls. "You're risking an awful lot for me."

"The woman I love is worth it." He looked into my eyes as he said this. I tried to say something but he held up his hand. "Don't worry I know you don't feel the same way. I'm not expecting anything from you, I'd never force you to do anything. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

I smiled and playfully kicked his foot with my own. "You really are such a softie underneath that whole 'big bad club owner' façade." I winked.

He smirked. "Only when it comes to you." We finished up in comfortable silence and put the things away before he took my hand into the living room. "He'll no doubt visit tonight. I need you to be brave for me. Can you do that?"

I nodded. "You know I can. But what if he recognises me?" I asked.

"Your own father wouldn't recognise you." He smiled. "He won't because we'll stick to what we discussed. He won't know any better and you'll stay out of his hands."


	3. First Meeting

The whole day I spent away from windows, I was so scared he'd somehow magically see me and leap through the window and take me. I had to put my brave face on, or it wouldn't just be me that gets hurt.

I went back through the doors into the noise of the club. I forgot what time it was, all I knew was that the night was in full swing. The dancers were doing their thing in their designated spots, and the raised platform in the middle was occupied by Nancy a.k.a Infatuation tonight. I walked around, making sure everyone was having a good time, and in general trying to calm myself from freaking out. I made my way to where Spencer would be; the v.i.p area that was slightly out of the way with a translucent blue curtain that separated them from the rest. I pulled back the curtain and I nearly ran back out. Slouched arrogantly on the sofa was the Joker himself. To the side of him was the beautiful Harley Quinn, she was rubbing the back of Joker's neck but they both stopped what they were doing to look at me. "Ah hello baby." Spencer said over the music.

I nearly lost my composure but I caught it in time. "Sorry love I didn't realise you had company."

I was walking back but the Joker held his arm up. "No… no don't worry, you may be able to help as well." He said; his voice was eerily calm. "You must be Spencer's wife Cara."

I nodded with a smile and sat on Spencer's knee. "How can I help Mister Joker?" I asked flashing Harley a bigger smile which she returned with a wink.

"Please call me J." He said with that creepy smile of his; showing off those rows of silver lined teeth, I just shrugged in response. "You seen this girl?" He asked as one of his henchmen I learned was called Johnny Frost handed me a photograph of me. I studied it and it was quite a recent one taken from my online profile page, as I was looking I felt Spencer's hands go around my waist and to the Joker and Harley this would appear to be normal but it helped calm me. "We went to her place last night but found nothing."

"What's this about J?" Spencer asked. "You got beef with a girl like this?" He asked as he snatched the photograph from me.

"No not exactly." Joker drawled out.

"Mah Puddin owns her now." Harley said in her thick accent and high voice. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Mistah J is looking for his property is all."

He almost violently shook her off; if I didn't know any better I'd say he was annoyed by her. "I haven't seen her J." Spencer said handing back the photo.

I had an idea so I snatched the photo before he handed it back. "Actually…" I said with a sense of pretend vagueness. "Does this girl drive a Pontiac Firebird?" I asked.

I couldn't read Joker's face. "That's what her father said."

"Wow you're good with cars." Johnny commented; I couldn't miss his eyes travelling along my body, and from Spencer's increased tenseness I could tell it didn't go unnoticed by him either.

"I'll say." Spencer pulled me closer to him. "This girl is mighty handy with a monkey wrench." He kissed my temple.

"How do you know?" joker asked.

"This is the girl who nearly crashed into me last night." I said, causing Harley's eyebrows to shoot up. "I was at the T junction by the harbour and she ran a red light, thankfully we both stopped in time but the gal quickly sped off again."

"You see where she was heading?" He asked again, his eyes sent chills through my body.

I shrugged. "Either towards the harbour or out of the city. That kinda direction I guess." I added nonchalantly.

Joker smiled, his eyes squinted slightly making him seem totally psychotic. "Thank you my dear." I handed the photo back. "Frost send out men to scout the harbour and the roads out of here. I want her found." His voice grew more intense and everyone could feel the threat in the air. "I want her alive Frosty," He leaned forward while looking at Johnny. "If you don't find her soon I'll make sure to open your eyes more for you."

I had never seen someone look so shaken up before, and he quickly bolted out of the room. "Now that business is out of the way," Spencer tried to lighten the mood but I just couldn't relax with those two in front of me. "Fancy a drink Mister J?" He asked.

He smiled and laughed; though I didn't know what was so funny. "Of course."

Harley pouted. "Aw Puddin won't you dance with me?" She whined while touching his arm.

He rolled his head in an agitated way. "No Harley-girl you go dance away though." He didn't even look at her but I could see the clear disappointment on her face. I saw her reluctantly go onto the dance floor and quickly took over the middle podium, her confidence immediately restored by the men's reactions she got. I couldn't stop the smile that spread on my face, and Joker noticed and he met my gaze with a smirk. "You like my girl?" He asked with a nod in her direction.

I nodded. "She's drop dead gorgeous Mister J." I met his gaze and thankfully he didn't look angry.

"That she is." His gaze went back to her and I followed. I meant what I said; the rumours didn't do that girl justice, though I couldn't help but wonder what she was like when she was Harleen Quinzel. Before the Joker changed her forever.

I lightly slapped my thigh. "How about I get you two drink?" I abruptly said.

"Alright baby, you know what I like." I stood up and looked to Joker. "What about you boss?" He asked.

He smirked. "Surprise me."

I nodded stiffly and walked over to the bar. "How you holding up?" Freddie asked me as he wiped down the surface.

"I'm not dead. That's a plus." I tried to say light-hearted but it came out strange.

He smiled. "Relax doll, they're none the wiser. So what do you need?"

"Get Spencer's usual scotch." I said and saw Freddie rummage around. "And the Joker said to surprise him."

"Well hell, what are we meant to get him and not get shot for?" He looked torn on what to do.

I had a thought. "Hey Freddie you still got that vodka from the other day?" I asked and his eyes lit up and I saw him rummage around. I heard the Joker liked grape soda or something like that, and I had dissolved a load of grape Jolly Ranchers in vodka the other day as an experiment. Freddie came back with the purple-ish vodka in hand. "Sweet, okay get a bit of that, bit of Seltzer, and a bit of lime juice maybe?" I half asked.

He tried a couple of different variations before he was happy. "This is good, nice thinking." He winked.

I shrugged. "I had an alcoholic for a father." I added which he nodded in agreement; something we both shared. "Let's hope he likes this." He said as he poured the drink into a glass.

I put them on a tray along with my Miami Vice. "Here I go." I said more to myself than Freddie. I walked into the v.i.p section and set the tray down. "Scotch on the rocks." I handed to Spencer, and I took the purple drink from the tray. "And something for you."

I handed it to him and he cocked an eyebrow but drank it. He thankfully looked pleasantly surprised. "This is good." He commented. "Who's recipe?"

I scratched the back of my neck. "I kinda thought of it on the fly." I took my drink and sat back on Spencer's lap.

Joker pursed his lips. "Nice one doll."

There was a comfortable silence which I wasn't about to offer to make a conversation. I didn't know how long had passed, all the time I kept avoiding meeting the Joker's eyes. They just seemed so piercing, as if they could see who I really was. I set my third empty glass on the table. "I'm going to go to bed love." I said to him, to add to the façade I kissed him. It wasn't something I hadn't done before, we have done it many times when we were drunk. "Good night J. It was nice to meet you."

He smiled, showing off those impressive teeth again. "A pleasure my dear. A delight to meet you at last." He shot Spencer a look. "I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again very soon."

I didn't miss the silent threat in there, but Spencer was quite intoxicated and so I don't think he paid much attention. "I hope so Mister J." I lied through my teeth.

"I look forward to find out who you are." I felt his eyes follow me as I left the club.

I shut the door and leant against it slightly shaking. I had lied through my first encounter, but I could tell he was cleverer than he made out. Which would mean he would see through my lies eventually, and this would mean I would have to escape sooner rather than later.


	4. Shall we be Friends?

**A/N:**

 **I just can't shake the love I have for these guys XD Thanks to all who has favourited and/or followed, it means the world to me 3**

 **Isuzi: Thanks :3 I'll try and keep momentum going**

 **Jaxjax: I hope I won't make the time between updates too long then :P**

 **Guest: I hope the suspense is a good thing! But unfortunately it won't be going anywhere XD**

 **amatista1996: I'm super thrilled you like it :) Makes me happy knowing peeps enjoy it!**

I slept in the same bed as Spencer that night; I originally was in my own bed but I couldn't settle. So I went into his room and he scooted over to let me sleep with him. I felt safe with his arms wrapped around me, and as weird as it sounds, I sleep better with someone next to me. So when I woke up, my head was resting on his chest and he was running his hands through my hair. I smiled softly as I made myself more comfortable. "Morning." I mumbled into him.

He chuckled. "Morning darlin'." He rested his cheek on my forehead. "So all things considered, I think last night went well."

I giggled slightly. "Yeah I mean, neither of us were shot, electrocuted or kidnapped so I'd say an admirable effort on our parts." I traced the tattoo he had over his chest; it was a tribal like tattoo that reminded me of Mayan temples. "How long can we keep this up?" I asked.

"As long as possible." He whispered.

"HEY SUGAH!" I heard Harley's voice yell from the door. We looked at each other in terror and I rushed to slip mu contacts on, and as I finished Harley kicked the door open. "Hey guys!" She greeted cheerfully.

I hid beneath the cover to hide my modesty; after all I only slept in a strap top and booty shorts. "Harley?!" Spencer sat up as Harley sat on the edge of the bed, all the while grinning at me.

"Morning sleepy heads." How did she not have a hangover after the amount she drank last night? "Cara getsy upsy."

She was way too energetic for this time in the morning. "Harley what's going on?" I asked, rubbing my eyes as they were getting irritated due to me rushing putting them in. I made sure to also keep my lower half covered as I was almost certain my tattoo would be showing.

"Will you spend the day with me?" She looked at me with such pleading eyes and she pursed her lips while fluttering her eye lashes. "I hardly ever get female company."

I couldn't help it but her energy was contagious and I smiled. "Alright Harley." She squealed. "You and Spencer go make breakfast and I'll get a shower."

She practically leapt up and ran into the kitchen. "Good luck sweetheart." He joked as he left the room.

I got out of the bed when I was sure they were both in the mist of cooking. I looked at my reflection and still couldn't recognise myself. My now purple curly hair was in a state of disarray from sleep, and my eyes looked tired. I took out the contacts and saw the last trace of me; my blue eyes that always reminded me of the colour of the open sea. I stepped into the warm spray and washed myself with the fruit scented shower gel. I got out and wrapped the towel around me and dried myself as I walked into the room. I got changed into a maroon coloured dress, black leggings, and red combat boots. I tied my hair into a messy bun, put in my contacts, and did my make up the way the stylists told me to. I slipped the gold ring onto my ring finger, it felt out of place on my hand but I knew it didn't mean anything. And then I felt guilty. Spencer had done so much for me over the years, and now he was risking his life for me and I couldn't even return his feelings. Why couldn't I love him? He was kind, gentle, loyal, and he has never pressured me into anything my entire time knowing him. Yet why was I so selfish as to not love him?

As I got into the kitchen I was greeted by a sight of Harley sat on the table swinging her legs and Spencer by the stove. He turned and smiled at me. "Now you're looking more awake." I smiled to him before walking over to him and kissed him. But once again, I felt nothing. As I pulled away he smiled coyly. "What was that for?"

I shrugged. "Just felt like it."

Harley was grinning at us as she swung her legs off the table. "You two are so cute."

I smiled back at her as we all ate the food Spencer made. If there was one thing Spencer knew how to be a God at; it was cooking. "God you're gonna make me fat with this food one day." I said between mouthfuls to Spencer, which he just laughed in response. "So what are we doing today Harley?" I asked.

She pursed her lips in thought. "Well ma puddin' is away until tomorrow so I was hoping you'd join me for a sleepover?" She asked with a hopeful voice.

I had a moment of panic; what if she saw my tattoo or my eyes not being the colour they should be? But to refuse could raise a bit of suspicion, or if she told Joker I refused he could kill me for it. "Sure, I could do with a bit of girl time." I said with a smile at her.

She squealed and leaned over the table to hug me. "Sugah! We're gonna have so much fun!"

And surprisingly I did. Harley really was a sweet girl, though extremely naïve at times. I loved her face whenever she talked about 'her Puddin', she lit up like a freaking Christmas tree but I couldn't help but notice her small sad face at the end of her talking about him. Surprisingly we played a lot of games; we play croquet outside which was something I never thought I'd do with her, then we hit the video games where she beat me on nearly everything. Towards the evening we got changed into out pyjamas; she was wearing a red strap top and black booty shorts… so not much different from her day wear. On the other hand I changed into one of Spencer's green t-shirts that went to my knees, but I stuck a pair of leggings that went to my calves but also went above my tattoo just in case my shirt rose up in the night. The thing I was having trouble was getting my contacts in and out of my eyes without her noticing.

I stepped out of her bathroom and into her room. It was colourful to say he least; she had pink walls, a fluffy pink rug on the floor with lots of cute little pictures around her walls. I brushed out my hair and the curls fell lightly on my shoulders. "I love your hair." She said as she watched me sit on the bed opposite her.

"Thanks." I said while self-consciously running my hands through it. "Yours is adorable and sexy at the same time." She grinned widely at me when I said this. "Want me to braid it?" I asked.

Her eyes lit up. "Really? Yeah!" She eagerly got a box full of hair bands and such. I decided to do two French plaits along her head. So I began to separate her hair down the middle and began twisting her hair. "So how long have you know Spency?" She asked.

We could use the truth for this question for once. "I met him at school actually." I said while thinking of the memory. "Believe it or not Spencer wasn't always as confident as he is now, I found him on the floor after my art club had finished. He was crying. I asked him what about and he wouldn't answer so I dragged him back onto his feet and told him to never let them see him cry. If they saw they got to him then he'd never move past them." I smiled at the thought. "He started at me bug eyed and everything. We quickly became friends and we've never been far from each other since."

"Was it love at first sight?" She asked.

I pursed my lips. "Not for me. I had… a boyfriend of sorts for a while but Spencer told me he loved me since we were still in school, though he only told me how he felt a couple of years ago."

"Why?" She asked.

I shrugged. "I went through a bad break up to say the least and I wasn't in the mood for anything romantic so he bit his tongue for years."

"It's nice to have someone who cares for you that much. I wish I had someone like that."

I couldn't miss the sadness in her voice. "What about Mister J? He tore up the city looking for you when you were in Belle Reve." I consoled.

I saw her head to tilt to the side. "Don't get me wrong Sugah it's not so bad. It was really good for a while; he was good to me for the most part… but lately…" I got the feeling she didn't want to speak anymore so I simply rubbed her shoulder. She took a hold of my hand and kissed my knuckles. "I have you now right?" She asked, I couldn't bring myself to answer until she turned around to face me with those eyes that were innocent yet deadly at the same time. "Let's make a deal, I don't hurt you. You don't hurt me, right?" She asked.

I smiled at her. "And vice versa." I agreed. Even though I heard all the stories about her. Everything she could do, and how dangerous she was. I could see a girl though. A girl who I believed wanted nothing more than to be my friend. "I finished with your hair." I tapped her on the shoulder.

She jumped up and went to look in the mirror, and I saw her child like smile. "I love it Sugah." She grinned at me; then leaned closer to me. "I want us to be friends. Do you?"

I smiled at her. "Yeah. It would be nice to have a friend."


	5. Night One: Survived

**A/N:**

 **Here's the next chapter :) I am super stoked to develop the friendship between Harley and Tabby (Cara) so I hope I keep Harley as much in character as I can**

 **jodyowl11 I love her too! You never know if she wants to kiss or kill you XD**

 **JitterJitter well here ya go :3**

 **XxOriginalDireWolfHybridxX I'm glad you liked it :) Here be the next chapter**

Lord knows when we fell asleep but I took out my contact lenses when the lights went out. I could see the sun coming through the curtains so I put them back in with a bit of difficulty seeing how Harley's arms were wrapped around my stomach and her head was below my shoulder. She was snoring soundly though so I knew I didn't wake her with my minimal movements. Even without that large layer of makeup she was still a very pretty woman, she looked pretty normal all things considering really. And there were times where she even acted like it… right before she'd throw something at a wall or make a weird comment. I felt her arms tighten around me and she snuggled in closer causing me to smile. "You smell nice Sugah." She mumbled. "Kinda like donuts."

I rolled my eyes playfully as she mumbled out a few more sleepy phrases that had something to do with 'grapes', 'glitter', and 'candyfloss'…. I needed to get my hands on whatever she has in her drinks. I heard her stir properly this time and she sat herself up on her elbow and smiled a goofy little smile at me. "Morning hun."

She grinned even wider at me. "You stayed." She almost sounded surprised.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

She never got a chance to answer. "Harley! Baby I'm back!" The door burst open and there stood a rather absent clothed Joker. He was wearing a pair of dark blue trousers with 'ARKHAM' down the side and that was it. His chest was on full display and I was just mesmerised by his tattoos. I'm not going to lie, I wanted to look at the ink work longer but I didn't want to attract unwanted attention from him but thankfully he was a bit taken back so he was staring at Harley. "I didn't know you had a play mate." He said in that calm voice that could disguise any emotion. He then looked at me and I sat up and pulled my knees to my chest. "When did you two become such good friends?"

His voice was smooth and slow giving off a controlled illusion but I knew that this just wasn't the case when it came to the Joker. "Sorry I didn't let ya know Puddin. I wanted some company and I don't have many girl-friends so I invited her for a slumber party." I don't think either of us could gauge his reaction; he just kept looking at me, his eyes eerily calm. "You're not angry are ya Puddin?" Harley looked between me and him, I met her eyes and she recognised my fear I had.

"No, no…" He began as he gestured around him, and I waited for him to explode at me or her. "I wasn't expecting this is all." He walked over to her and kissed her passionately on the lips; apparently the coldness from before wasn't how he was all the time. But I couldn't miss how he opened one eyes to look at me during their little make out session. I averted my eyes and scratched the back of my head. As they pulled away from each other Harley giggled yet he just smirked at me before tugging lightly at Harley's plaited hair. "I expect you're hungry. I'll get the boys to go get some food."

After he left I let out my breath I was holding. "No need to be so nervous Sugah. If worse comes to worse and you're near him during one of his moods… I'll put myself between ya." She winked at me.

I hugged her in response. "Dibs in the shower first though." I snuck past her in a rush.

"Hey no fair!"

After I waited for Harley to get dressed in a set of ripped black low cut jeans and a top that looked suspiciously like a bra we went to the kitchen. I didn't want to see anymore of Mister J but alas the fates were not on my side. "Oh wait I picked you up something." Harley said before quickly darting out of the room.

I sat down at the table opposite Joker but next to Johnny. I think he could sense my discomfort and nudged my foot with his. "When you heading back?" He asked me.

"Now, now Frosty." Joker drawled out. "You're making it sound like you want her out of here… which would be rude." I saw a twitch in his eyes and it made a chill go down my spine. Johnny was about to say something but the Joker beat him to it. "You're already in trouble for not finding Miss Ortiz. My patience is running thin."

I could tell he was getting increasingly annoyed and began to get very worried and prayed for Harley to return. "It's like she disappeared boss. Me and the boys looked-"

"I wasn't asking for excuses Frost." His eyes narrowed and I could feel the killing intent. "You find her or so help me." I heard a gunshot and I looked to see a hole in the wall inches from Frost's face, though it caught his ear and it was bleeding down his face. "The next one will decorate the middle of your face." Frost clutched the side of his ear and left the table without another word; smart move considering how anymore and he really would have been killed. He kept looking at me, those eyes I was terrified of and I wanted nothing more than for him to pay attention to something or someone else. "No need to be so scared of me Cara." He adjusted himself in the seat. "You've done nothing wrong… right?" He questioned as he leaned his arms on the table.

He was still shirtless so I saw how his muscles moved on those pale arms and it stirred something in me. I met his eyes again and had a sudden gush of courage. "I wouldn't say that Mister J. We all have our dark sides."

I saw his eyebrow quirk with interest. "Is that so?" He rested his head on his hand. "How dark could a girl like you be?"

I leaned back and refused to back down from him. "You'd be surprised J. I've done some things that should keep me up at night."

"And why doesn't it?"

I left the question in the air for a while. "Because I liked it."

His smile grew slowly until it filled his face. "Oh good girl." His voice was low and husky, and I thought for a moment as to maybe why Harley is attracted to him. I quickly buried this thought though as I knew how dangerous he is.

"Found it!" Harley excitedly yelled as she entered the room. I turned to see her with a purple gun in her hands. I cocked and eyebrow at her and she rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Spency told me you don't own a gun."

"No, I don't really like them." I avoided looking at it.

She sat next to me and nudged my shoulder. "Please? It'll make me feel better knowing you had a way to defend yourself."

I looked between her and Joker who had a non-existent eyebrow raised. "I wouldn't even know how to fire the damn thing."

"I'll teach you." Joker said before Harley could say anything but she brightened up and smiled at him widely.

I shook my head. "Oh no, I couldn't- I-"

"You'll be learning from the best." Harley filled with pride as she grinned widely at Joker who smiled in response. "Please Sugah." She stuck out her lip in a cute little pout.

"If it's alright with you Mister J?" I asked him.

He winked. "It would be a genuine pleasure my dear." His voice was smooth, calm, and collected… unlike my heart that I feared he could hear. "I want to see why Spencer chose to marry you."

"What the hell am I going to do?" I asked Spencer as I paced back and forth in the living room. "I can't spend time alone with that man Spenz okay? I can't."

He was sat on the sofa watching me freak out. "If you say no then he's gonna wonder why. Look, Frost will no doubt be there. That man follows J almost everywhere." He rolled his eyes at the last part.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this Spenz. This is just…" I sat next to him with a thud. "You know he's gonna figure it out?"

He rubbed my knee. "I know."

"He's gonna kill you." I mumbled.

I saw him smirk slightly. "I remember you saying that about a certain someone 5 years ago… yet I'm still here."

I rested my head in my hands. "That's different. I was… I was different back then."

He pursed his lips. "I'm not so sure babe." I looked at him frowning. "You bury your emotions well… but not as well as you think. I've known you too long, and watched you too closely for you to get away with anything."

I couldn't argue with him. He held a very valid point and deep down I knew he was telling the truth. "If he hurts you, I'll hurt him back tenfold."

He nodded. "We don't go down without a fight." He tucked a bit of hair behind my ear. "I love you. I've never lied about that."

I covered his hand with my own. "And I wish I could return those feelings. Believe me I want to so badly but I just…"

I felt so bad with how everything in our lives has turned out. "I know. I know you may never love me but you've never treated me any differently after I told you how I felt. I'll never hurt you, and I'll always protect you."

I shook my head at him. "Why me? You could have any girl you could possibly want."

"But not the one I really want." He looked at his hands with a sad smile. "You know what I am, a violent, drunk club owner. And yet you're not afraid to slap me around my face if I insult someone you care about." He touched his cheek and let out a small laugh. "You bring out the little bit of good that's left in me. So long as you're around… you make me feel like I can be a better man."

"Spencer…" I touched his hand.

He stood up. "It's okay though. I know your heart was torn a long time ago. It's gonna take someone hella special to you to make you think you need someone in your life. But until that happens I am gonna stay by your side. Joker ain't gonna lay a hand on you."


	6. Gun Lesson From Mister J

I wanted to believe Spencer so badly but I just couldn't see it myself. If it came down to it and Joker were to try and kill him, I would offer myself in his place if it meant for him to live. I would do whatever it took to keep him alive for what he's done for me.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror; I tied my hair in a bun but several strands fell out as I still wasn't used to the shorter length. I did my eyes in the new smoky fashion making my unfamiliar green eyes pop out. I put on a long sleeved purple and black striped top with holes over the shoulders. I had a pair of tight high waisted black jeans and a set of converses on. I sighed heavily and shook my head; I looked nothing like my normal self and I felt like such a huge fake. I walked out of the apartment and got into Spencer's spare car and drove myself to the Joker's mansion. I didn't get to fully appreciate it before as we were driven by someone else and the windows were tinted.

It was a lot more elegant than I was expecting… but then I was expecting Dr Frankenstein's castle complete with lightening, creepy fog, and a limping butler. But it reminded me a bit of the Wayne mansion but smaller… and more discreet than the flamboyant millionaire. I parked up in what I assumed to be a safe spot to leave my car when Johnny and another man in a suit came out. "Ben take her car out back." He said and I gave my keys to him, causing Johnny to smile. "Hey Cara, good to see you."

I couldn't help but smile back. "Hey Johnny. You alright?" I asked as I followed him into the house.

He shrugged and I noticed a bruise forming on his jaw and I couldn't miss the slight limp that the other guy had. "Eh can't complain… well I can but it wouldn't do me any good." He winked at me earning a laugh. "Don't worry so much, Mister J really ain't that bad really. I just haven't found what he's looking for."

I couldn't answer him so I just looked at the walls as he led me to wherever I was meant to go. He opened a steel looking door and as I stepped in I saw a full on shooting range. On the wall at the back I saw pretty much every gun under the sun and I wouldn't have a clue as to where to start to identify any of them. It wasn't unnoticed however that the one Mister J was nowhere to be seen. "Am I early?" I asked him.

I saw his cheeks flush a little pink. "When I last saw him he was, uh…" He scratched the back of his head. "He was with Harley, and you know…" He trailed off.

I knew what he was implying all too well but his embarrassment was too cute and funny at the same time so I played dumb. "What? What do you mean?" I asked innocently.

"Well you know… he was…" He was turning pinker and I couldn't keep my straight face any longer and he looked flabbergasted. "You little!" I burst out into fits of giggles and he lightly hit my side playfully. "You're awful!"

"I'm sorry I just…" I held onto my stomach that was not hurting and I felt light tears at my eyes. "You were too cute to not tease!"

"Cute?!" He looked a cross between embarrassed and shocked. "I am the right hand man of the Clown Prince of Crime. I am so not cute." He pouted. He actually pouted at me which did nothing to cease my laughter.

I rested my head in my hands and leaned on a table. "So what were they doing?" I asked while wagging my eyebrows and he just made an indignant sound and turned away. "Oh my God you're adorable!"

"I'm not sure I want an adorable henchman." The silky voice of Joker chirped in. He was adjusting the cuff on his crisp white shirt; his hair looked damp from what I assumed was a shower… or it could have been sweat from his activities. He had on black trousers and shoes, along with several gold necklaces and rings on his hands. He had a smirk on his face and it made him look both devilish and mischievous at the same time. "It wouldn't quite fit with my image."

Johnny straightened himself up. "Sorry boss. We were just teasing."

"Relax Frosty boy. I'm not on the warpath right now." He shot him a look though that screamed 'to be continued…' and we both knew it.

"So where do we start Mister J? I'm just gonna warn you… I'm probably gonna be terrible." I said desperately trying to change the subject. I walked to the table and picked up the purple gun Harley got me. "Point and shoot?" I asked sarcastically.

This earned a metal tinted smile from him. "There's a bit more to it than that doll." He leaned against the table with his arms crossed and I mentally chastised myself when I liked how those arms muscles moved. "Let's see how you do without me."

It was if he knew the effect he had on me and I inwardly rolled my eyes as I knew he had Harley so there shouldn't be aby reason for me to be nervous. I pulled the gun up and tried to aim for the target in the middle of the man silhouette. I shot four times, each landing nowhere near the desired area. I tried again another couple of times and it still went badly until I lowered the gun and sighed heavily. "I suck."

I heard a chuckle come from Johnny and I threw an empty box at him and stuck my tongue out like the mature human being I am. Thankfully Joker was also smiling. "You just need to work on your technique." He stood up a bit more. "Hold up the gun." I did as he said and he let out a huff. "Not like that." I saw him move towards me and I just stared at the target. "Move your feet." He lightly kicked my feet further apart so they were shoulder width apart roughly. "Face sideways." He placed his hands on my hips and turned me slightly. "Raise the gun to here." His arm moved my arm to the desired height. "Look where you want the bullet to go." I could feel his breath next to my ear. "Breathe." I was definitely trying to. "Then release." I pulled the trigger and it actually went in the target. It wasn't a bullseye but it was a start.

I let out a noise of surprise. "Oh would you look at that." I smiled. "I hit inside the circle." I looked to my side to see Joker's face right next to me with a smirk on his face.

"Nice work." He winked before standing back. "Again."

Nearly. Two. Hours. Later.

I am telling you now just don't take gun lessons from Joker. It will literally drain you. The second you feel like you're safe and he's in a good mood… a henchman of some description will say something subtly wrong and Joker will shoot him between the eyes. It scared me knowing what he will do and every time I looked into his eyes I saw the reality. Joker would eventually kill me.

I was sat with a coffee between my hands in a sofa with Johnny sat next to me, his arm swung comfortably behind me. Was this what my life was going to be? A state of fear and then what? "Cara?"

I snapped out of my trance and looked at Johnny. "I'm sorry what?" I asked.

He looked at me with slightly concerned eyes. "Would you please relax?" I couldn't answer him so I just opened and closed my mouth. "None of us are gonna hurt ya."

I sunk further into the sofa. "I'm sorry Johnny. I just… I've kept myself out of this side of Spencer's life for such a long time that I guess I just…" I blew the hair out of my eyes. "I'm not used to all of this I guess."

"Can I let you in on a secret?" He nudged my foot with his. "I haven't either."

"I hear you're a sharp little shooter Sugah!" Harley bounced in the room and sat by my feet resting her cheek on my knees. "Did you have fun today?"

"Try tiring." I mumbled causing her to giggle. "In a nice way though."

She shook her head. "Mistah J can get a little carried away when it comes to his guns."

"If she's gonna learn…" Joker strode into the room and sat on the chair adjacent to the one Johnny and I were on. "She's gonna learn right."

I smiled though didn't mean it. "I should be getting home to Spencer." I got off the sofa and walked to the doors. "See you guys later, and thanks for the gun lesson Mister J."

"Can you refresh my memory doll?" I turned to him to see him with a cocked eyebrow. I nodded and he leaned forward. "When did you marry Spencer? I'm trying to get together dates so I know when your anniversary will be." He smiled at me.

"Oh right, we got married 6 months ago." I told him.

"Fabulous." He said, he then waved me off. "Go on then, don't want to keep him waiting."

I closed the door behind me and walked into the kitchen to see Spencer cooking. "Hey babe." He greeted me. "How was it?"

"Mixed." I sat on a seat by the table. "I just can't let my guard down around that man he just…"

"You do know you're talking to the guy who works for him." He cocked an eyebrow.

"Sorry. I know you've had to put up with way more than I have." I rested my head in my hands. "He creeps me out..." He shot me a look. "What?"

"Nothing. I just know you find him attractive." He turned back to the stove.

I knew there was no hiding from him. "There is a degree of attractiveness for him I'll admit that. But he scares the living day lights out of me as well."

"As soon as the initial storm your dad creates dies down I'll get you outta here. You'll be free of him soon."


	7. We're Gonna Have Fun!

I had to take my mind off the gun lesson, so I accompanied Spencer to the club that evening. There was something nagging at the back of my mind, I feel like I forgot about something really important but then I was probably paranoid I left the kettle on back home. I watched the dancers do their thing… which was usually grinding provocatively against just about anyone who they came across. The music was loud and the majority of people were highly intoxicated. For once though Spencer was going easy on the drink tonight. "You alright babe?" Spencer asked.

We were sat in our usual booth overlooking the entire club. I was lost in the movements of the people here; they were just completely lost in their world. Must be nice. To be able to forget about your troubles even if it is just for one night. "Sorry Spenz I was just…" I frowned to myself. "I have a bad feeling is all."

He smirked. "You're this close to the Joker… it's no surprise."

I laughed humourlessly. "You really need to take yourself more seriously."

He full on laughed. "Oh my dear wife you need to lighten up." He winked.

That was when my heart stopped. I just froze. "Spencer…"

He was still chuckling to himself when he looked back to me. "Yeah."

I swallowed but my throat suddenly went really dry. "How long did we say we've been married?"

"4 months." His smiled faded. "Why?"

"Oh God." I barely made it above a whisper.

A loud bang was heard through the club, and the music suddenly cut off. "ALL GUESTS LEAVE NOW!" A loud voice boomed above the sounds of complaints from the guests but they quickly shuffled out.

"Hide. Now." Spencer hushed me away and I quickly bolted into a hiding place. I went into another room and closed the door; knowing that this wasn't good enough I saw a ventilation shaft above me so I pushed the grill aside and pulled myself through the gap. It was a little difficult considering I was wearing a tight fitting pair of shorts and low cut top but I managed. I crawled silently through the gap to above the club and stayed silent but able to still see what was going on. "Mister J. What's the deal?" Spencer asked.

I saw Joker come into view before he punched Spencer on his jaw and I flinched. "Oh Spencer, Spencer… Spencer." He sounded eerily level headed and I didn't trust it at all. Two of Joker's goons held Spencer's arms behind his back, but I could see how they were straining. Outnumbered or not Spencer was a big man and could do a lot of damage with his fists if he wanted to. "You have… wounded me."

I saw Harley sit on a chair next to him, I couldn't make out her face but from the way she wasn't joining in I could only hope she wasn't revelling in the whole situation. "Mister Joker… I don't know-"

Joker introduced his fist to Spencer's face again. "Don't screw me over Spencer boy!" Joker shouted in his face. The impact broke Spencer's lip and so blood was dripping down his chin. "Where is she Spencer?" He stroked his face and I had a sick feeling to my stomach. "I know Cara is little Tabatha. Her little slip up yesterday filled in the blanks for me and I tell ya… I'm not happy."

"What are you gonna do with her?" Freddie asked; him and the other employees were also being detained by the men in suits. Joker's attention switched to him and a chill ran down my spine.

"She hasn't done anything wrong!" Jane nearly shouted. "Just leave her alone!" She earned a slap from one of the goons for that.

"Oh I don't doubt that." Joker slowly and purposely walked over to them. "But you lot have. You all knew about this, so you're all in very big doo doo's."

"Leave 'em be J!" Spencer yelled as he struggled against the men. "They only did what I ordered them to do!" Joker returned to him. "I'm the one who hid her here. But she's long gone now."

Joker's face turned dark and as quick as a cat was on Spencer. He knocked him to the floor and began raining down pain on him. "You think a girl is worth all this?!" He was mad with anger. "Oh boyo, you's a silly." Punch. "Silly." Punch. "Boy!" I saw him reach into his coat and pulled out his gun.

I kicked the grail down and jumped through the gap. I landed between Joker and Spencer. "Stop!" I shouted; holding my hands out. "Just stop." I said quieter.

Joker blinked a few times. "Well, you've been a very bad girl. You shouldn't run from your owner."

I looked to Harley who was now stood up, she didn't look angry which was a god thing I suppose. But looking at her reminded me of the gun she got me. I pulled it out and held it to my head; and Joker retracted ever so slightly. "Look either was I'm gonna die so I may as well do it now with my sanity intact."

Harley went wide eyed. "Sugah, think about what ya doin'." She tried to reason.

Joker lowered his gun. "You spent this whole time tracking me down so I'm guessing you don't want to kill me just yet, am I right?" I was gambling with my life right now but I was as good as dead along with everyone else in this building.

"You have a deal in mind doll?" He asked, cocking his eyebrow.

I swallowed. "Everyone here lives, and are not to be hurt. And I'll never leave."

"No! Tabatha!" Spencer yelled from behind me but the goons held him back.

"I won't try to run away or anything. I'll do whatever you say." I refused to let myself cry but I was giving away my freedom to a madman.

Harley touched Joker's arm and his expression softened. "Deal." He held out his hand for me to shake. After a pause I shook it and his smile grew wide. "We're gonna have so much fun!"

 **A/N:**

 **Dun dun duuuuh!**

 **I know, it's a short chapter but now I got the ball running so I wanted him to figure it out. If you want certain scenarios to happen feel free to pm me or something and I would be happy to try and put it in ;)**


	8. Think Like I Do

Has something happened in your life when you wish you could turn back time? Or tell your younger self to just turn around and walk away? I'd never really thought about it much until now. I haven't got any regrets in my life where I would give anything to change the outcome. Until now.

I shouldn't have come back to Gotham. I left for a good reason and I never should have involved myself in my father's problems yet again. I had gotten over what my ex had done to me, I separated myself from my dad's money problems and I had a stable job. Everything was beginning to fall into place until my conscience had to speak up. I quit my job and moved back home; got a flat and then made contact with Spencer. I checked on my father occasionally; that must have been why he thought I'd be a good scape goat. I wouldn't put up a fight. I sighed heavily to myself.

I was sat waiting in a cold room with a goon in a suit stood by the door. He didn't say anything nor did he even look at me. I didn't put up a fight; if I did then Joker might hurt Spencer and the others. Not that struggling would have done me any good to begin with… he knew my face and so he would have caught me. As I was just sat in the seat I took out my contacts as they were beginning to irritate my eyes. I leaned back in the chair and rubbed my arms as goose bumps were beginning to form on them.

I heard the door open and Harley stepped through the door and looked to the guard. "Get out." She said; but he didn't move causing her to roll her eyes and slam him against the wall. "If you don't vacate this room I will pull out your intestines and make you wear them as a scarf." He bolted out the room and Harley took a chair from the side and sat opposite me.

I couldn't read her face. "You mad at me?" I asked; though her eyes looked slightly red as if she had been crying.

She shook her head. "I can't seem to bring myself to not like you." She had a ghost of a smile on her lips. "I gotta give ya cookies though, that was smart what ya did."

I snorted. "Hardly, I made the biggest mistake ever. I should have driven away as fast as I could and not looked back."

"Oh he would have found ya quicker that way. Looked on security cameras and everything." She leaned forward on her knees. "He's not gonna kill ya by the way."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Why not? What good am I?"

She pondered. "I asked him not to."

"Again… why?" I was tired of all these games. "Why not just kill me and be done with it all?"

"I like you." She quickly responded. "And I know ma Puddin does as well. You're gonna be staying here with us for… a while."

I snorted again. "I'm your pet in other words." I said bitterly.

She looked hurt. "Sugah…"

"Oh come on how else am I meant to look at it?!" I nearly yelled at her. "I didn't ask for any of this. If it was up to me I'd be as far away from this place as possible."

"Well it's not up to you anymore." We both looked to see the Joker had silently entered the room. "You lost all rights to your body once your father gave you to me." He walked to me.

"I'm not some piece of property you painted clown!" I yelled at him.

I was rewarded by a hard slap across my face. He cut my lip as I tasted blood in my mouth. I straightened back up before spitting the blood out onto the floor. "You think I'm afraid of pain?" There was a cold silence in response. "Do you think you're the first man to ever hit me? Believe me you do not scare me Joker because I have come to the very simple conclusion about all of this."

He kneeled down to my height and got in my face, I could feel his breath on my cheek and it didn't faze me at all. "And what is that?"

"Not matter what you do to me, I've had worse." I gritted my teeth.

"I doubt that very much my dear." His smooth voice didn't cover the hostile intent behind his eyes.

"I've been locked in a walk in fridge for days at a time, tied up and left in a damp room for weeks, and I've been beaten, lashed, and cut to the point of exhaustion and to passing out point. I survived that. I can survive you." I was stubborn. A quality that was often my vice. I wouldn't let him kill me. I will be free of this man one day.

He smiled at me and stood up. "You were right Harley." He regarded her briefly. "She ain't gonna be some timid mouse around the house."

I blinked twice. "Huh?" I was basically asking for my ass to handed to me and he just… smiled?

"Like I said Tabby Cat," He began. "We're gonna have so much fun… and one day soon you're gonna think like I do."


	9. Target on My Back

"You think he'll tire of me?" I asked Johnny while we walked around the garden.

He shrugged. "I wish I could give you a decent answer doll, Mister J isn't someone you can predict." I looked at the ground while walking; that was the answer I was afraid of. I knew I was going to die by the Joker's hand; either I would do or say the wrong thing, he'd get bored, or I'd be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Either way, my days are numbered. "All I know is he's forbidden anyone to touch you without either his or your permission."

I cocked an eyebrow. "What? Why?" I asked.

He shrugged again. "My guessing is that he doesn't want anyone to touch his new 'toy'." He air quoted the word toy. "Hell I'm just glad this means you won't get hurt as easily."

I couldn't help but smile at him. "Oh yeah? Why is that Mr Frost?" I teased.

He let out a small laugh. "What can I say? I like you." He winked at me, I felt more comfortable around Johnny since yesterday. "I'm glad he assigned me to be your chaperone as it means I can keep a closer eyes on ya."

We were in comfortable silence for a while. I hadn't seen either Joker or Harley since last night when they informed me that I was to be the new mansion's pet. I couldn't run for my life; if I did then I would risk the lives of all my friends and I couldn't have that on my conscience. "Do you know what happened to Spencer by any chance?" I asked.

He scratched the back of his head. "He got a bad beating by J's boys but he's alive like he promised. It's gonna be a while before he gets back into J's good graces."

I sighed heavily. "I never should have let him hide me."

"We do crazy shit for those we care about." He nudged my shoulder.

I sighed heavily. "I hate myself for not feeling the same way about him."

"Why don't you out of curiosity?" He asked.

We sat down on a bench. "I don't know I guess. I've known him since we were younger and he helped me through a real tough time when I needed him but I just never saw him romantically, I saw him as family." I groaned. "I'm a horrible person aren't I?"

He laughed slightly. "Yeah you really are. Not only have you friend-zoned him but family-zoned. Oh God I feel even more sorry for the poor guy." He clutched his heart in mockery, earning a light punch from me. "The heart wants what it wants. You can't force it to love someone, that's not how it works."

I huffed. "Not that it would matter now anyway. My non-existant love life is going to be eternal now." He cocked an eyebrow at me. "Who's gonna want to date the pet of the Clown Prince of Crime?"

Johnny was about to say something until one of the goons interrupted. "Mister J wants to see the girl."

Jonny scowled. "Her name is Tabatha."

The goon couldn't look more bored. " _Tabatha_ needs to go to gun room."

I swore under my breath. "Wish me luck mate." I lightly touched his shoulder. He gave me a sympathetic look in return.

I followed the guy down the corridors until he lightly shoved me into the gun room. It felt even more dangerous in comparison to the shooting gallery; the walls were lined with guns of all varieties. Joker was stood next to a table with different guns on it, he was polishing a silver gun and looked relatively calm. It was a face I didn't trust; when he was angry at least I knew where I stood, but when he was calm I felt like he could snap at any time he wished. "Come closer doll, I ain't gonna bite… much." He added with a shiny smile in my direction.

I stood up taller and tried to make myself look as confident as possible. "You wanted to see me J?" I asked.

He looked at me in the corner of his eye but kept his attention on his gun. "How are you settling in pet?" He asked.

I bit my cheek. Wrong answer equals bruises. "Fine thank you J." I managed to keep my voice level.

He smirked. "And what are you really thinking?"

He asked for it. "That I have the worst luck in the history of people."

"Oh come now you're gonna break my heart." He mocked. He put the gun on the table and picked up my purple one Harley got me. "You have a roof above your head, food at your table…"

"And a target on my back." I finished for him.

He pointed the gun between my eyes, but I didn't flinch. "This isn't the first time you've stared down the barrel of a gun is it?" He tilted his head to the side.

"Nope." I answered truthfully.

His eye twitched. "Who was it?" He asked.

I shrugged this time. "My boyfriend at the time."

He gritted his teeth. "Give me his name."

I gauged his face, he looked ready to rip someone's head off. "What does it matter?"

"No on touched my property." He gritted out.

"I wasn't your property at that time."

A couple of seconds of silence went by but it felt like an hour. He slowly lowered the gun. "Tous ché." He put the gun back on the table and looked at a wall lined with guns. "You will give me his name one day pet. And you and I will kill him together."

"You seem pretty sure of that." I perched myself on the edge of the table and swung my legs slightly. "How do you know he's not already dead?"

"Because I saw in your eyes the amount of hate you had when you told me." He stroked a large gold covered machine gun. "What exactly did he do to you?"

"Why are you so interested?" He turned to face me. "You have everything you could possibly want? Why do you need to now this? Why do you need me? Why keep me around?" The questions tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

He smiled slowly and sadistically. "Because you are a killer." He pointed at me.

"No I'm not." I defended myself; he didn't know what I was like. There was no way I was a killer, I didn't have that in me."

"You said it yourself pet." He began walking around the table.

I frowned. "What are you on about?"

"When we were at the club… you said you've done dark things…" I turned to find him but he wasn't there. I turned back around and he was right in my face. "And you liked it." He whispered. I could feel his breath on my face and I desperately tried to move back but he put an arm around my back essentially trapping me. He pushed himself between my legs, fully invading my personal space. "I also know the desires you have…" He traced my arm with his hand. "The needs you need satisfied." His face came closer but I couldn't move as his hand snaked to the back of my head, keeping me firmly in place. Full control. That was what he demanded. "And believe me, I will give it to you." He brushed his lips against mine, ghosting an amount of pressure.

He abruptly pulled away and I could breathe again. "You're wrong." I rubbed the back of my neck, it ached where I tried to back away so much but he didn't allow it. "I was playing the part."

He laughed, and it chilled me. "Oh my dear little Tabby Cat… I will have you begging for it but don't worry," He winked. "I won't deny you."

I let out a laugh. "You must be crazy." I shook my head.

He stopped. His face fell.

In a flash he had come back across the room and shoved me against the table. I let out a gasp as my back his painfully against the steel table. "Oh I'm not crazy sweetheart." He held my arms painfully tight. "You are though, and I will unravel your mind quicker then Harley did with me."

I felt around the table and caught the gun he put on the table. I held it against his abdomen and he laughed. "Get. Off. Me." I gritted my teeth.

He pressed harder into me and I could feel tell-tell signs he wasn't afraid. "Go ahead. Shoot." I pulled the trigger but nothing happened, and he laughed louder. "You think I'd give you a loaded gun?"

He got off me and I pulled my shirt back down, defeated for now. "And you said you were playing the part." He opened the door. "You're just as blood thirsty as me."

He shut the door and I screamed and threw the gun against the door.

He won. I just proved him right.


	10. Would Expect Anything Different

Johnny showed me to the room I would use, he wondered about my smudged mascara but I waved him off saying I'd see him for dinner. The room was pretty nice all things considering; it was better than the one I had back in my one bedroom flat. It was simply decorated; beige walls with red accents, a large king size bed in the middle of the room, large wardrobe, privacy screen, and a desk with a mirror. I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my finger through my hair. I kept trying to pinpoint what I was thinking; I would have been willing to pull the trigger against another human being. Yes he is the man who is holding me against my will but I have no right to decide who lives and who dies.

I gave up and put it down to spur of the moment, then laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. I opened the cupboard to see all manners of clothing in there, I noticed a dress had a yellow sticky note on it. I ripped it off and saw it said 'Sugah, come out to dinner with me? Love Harls 3 x'. I couldn't help but smile and shake my head. The dress was a nice one; a maroon coloured short sleeved dress that went to just above my knees, a brown belt and a silver necklace over it. I found a pair of brown pumps and decided to go with those. I hopped in the shower and washed my hair, I looked at the plughole to see the water was a slight purple colour from the temporary hair dye. I didn't mind, though the colour was beginning to grow on me. After I finished I cleaned my piercings and dried off my hair. I pinned my fringe out of my face and styled the waves, the colour was still slightly purple but that will go in time. I put the dress on and was satisfied that I looked at bit more like myself again. A light knock at the door shook me from my thoughts. I opened it to see Harley; she was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans with rips, and a blue halter neck top with gold sequins around the top. Her hair was in a high ponytail and her ears were covered in earrings. She smiled widely. "Yay. You want to have dinner with me?" She asked, her eyes full of childish hope.

Her smile was contagious. "Course."

She lightly hugged me. "Good, because I want us to put the whole… identity, Puddin' owning you behind us. I want us to be friends for real."

I nodded and followed her to a car parked out front. We went on a short car journey and pulled up in front of a nice looking building with a balcony at the top. We were greeted by waiters in posh looking suits. We went to the second floor and had a table by the floor to ceiling windows. We ordered our food and we both were sipping on our wine. "So what brought this on?" I asked, I was a bit self-conscious as there was no-one else in the restaurant.

She gave me half a smile. "When you said you wanted to be friends at our sleepover… did you mean it? Or was that an act?"

"No it wasn't an act." I answered honestly. "I'm not gonna lie, I'm afraid of pretty much everyone in that house."

She reached across the table and stroked my hand. "Even me?"

I was silent for a while. "I didn't know how you were gonna react to all of this." I shrugged. "I have no idea who to trust. If I can at all."

"You can trust me to not hurt you."

She did look honest, and I honestly wanted to believe her. "The closer I am to someone the less I trust them."

She tilted her head to the side. "What do you mean? Surely you trust Spencer?"

"Spencer is the exception." I defended. "My father… well he needs no explanation though he's done more than gamble my freedom. And then there was… someone else I was close to."

"Wanna talk about it?" She gave a small smile. "I still am a psychiatrist though they don't think so."

She gave a small laugh which I echoed. "Maybe one day Harls."

"Sounds to me like-"

"Please don't evaluate me Harley." I interrupted her. "I've done all the therapy thing and all it did was confirm that I have issues which I was already too well."

She shot me a sympathetic look. "Sorry Sugah. You know where I am if ya need me." I kept debating with myself whether to say what happened between the Joker and I with her; but nothing really happened. Well nothing too serious though. A horrible part of my mind would add a 'for now' on the end of that sentence. "So what do you like doing with your free time then?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, our food was placed in front of us and we began to eat. "I mean, you gotta have something to occupy your time. I can get you some stuff to do if ya like?"

I smiled. "I like art I guess."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I used to do sketches all the time." I used to do art all the time when I was in school, but due to work and other commitments I hadn't had time to do any recently.

"Cool, I'll get Puddin to send the guys to get you some stuff." She said.

"Thanks. That'll keep me entertained I guess." I picked at my food but wasn't really enjoying it even though I knew it tasted amazing. I looked up to see Harley looking at me still. "What?"

"Can you do me a favour?" She asked.

"Depends…" I dragged out my answer.

"Don't try to escape or betray Mister J okay?"

I breathed in slowly. "You know I can't; I leave and he'll kill Spencer and everyone working in the club."

"All the same Sugah, if you try to… he'll save your death for last and trust me. It won't be pretty."

"For what it's worth in any case… when he does kill me… I'm gonna put up a fight then."

She smiled. "I wouldn't expect any different."


	11. Warping Minds

Harley held up her end of the bargain if you will. I had all the sketching apparatus I could ever ask for; and the equipment was pretty expensive based on the brands. I had been here a week now and hadn't seen J since our incident in the gun room. I had seen Harley almost every day and she really was growing on me; I was allowed to go see Spencer at the club tonight as long as Johnny was by my side the entire time. This would be the first time I've seen him since I was taken to the mansion.

I had just got out of the shower and slipped on a figure hugging black strapless dress. I put on some heavy makeup and straightened out my hair. After I slid some heels on I opened the door to see Johnny waiting for me, he smiled and looked at my outfit. "You look great."

I saw him donned in is usual suit attire and smiled. "Not looking too bad yourself." I commented.

He ran his hand through his hair. "I try." He led me to the car where we both sat in the back sipping on the champagne we had.

"Hey, something's bothering me." A thought popped in my head the other day and I needed it resolved.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"How did you survive that plane crash?" I asked, he still looked slightly confused so I continued. "When there was that situation with the Enchantress, and they shot down the plane you tried to rescue Harley with, how did you and Mister J survive?"

He pursed his lips. "The same was as Mister J I guess. I can't remember fully what happened, I hit my head pretty bad early on as we went down. Maybe you should ask J."

I grimaced at the thought. "No thanks. I'm going to try and see as little of him as possible."

He smirked. "Pretty hard when you live in the same building."

"Oh I can try." I said sarcastically. "I'm secretly a ninja." I mock did karate moves with my hands causing him to laugh.

"Oh yeah how could I forget?"

"That is just how much of a ninja I am."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Because you made me forget?"

"Exactly. I'm a ninja of the mind." I winked before letting a smile on my face.

"You're mental." He shook his head.

"No my mother had be tested for that."

That was it for him as he burst into laughter. "Isn't that from Big Bang Theory?"

I scoffed. "I like you even more that you know that." I shot him a cheeky wink. The car pulled up to the club and it looked busy as usual. "Looks like the little incident hasn't affected sales."

Johnny held the car door open for me. "Well everyone knows this is one of J's places and so if he finds out you haven't been in a while…"

"It'll be bad for you." I finished his sentence for him. I looked up at the familiar club I used to visit so often, but I felt nervous all of a sudden. This place that used to hold so many fond memories was now tainted by Joker and I didn't like how he got under my skin like he has. "Are you gonna be hovering over my shoulder the whole time?"

Johnny cocked an eyebrow as he looked at me. "I won't be breathing down your neck put it that way. Just don't wander too far from me. Otherwise it will be my turn to get a walloping."

"Well I wouldn't want that." I winked at him before going into the club. I was greeted by loud music, bodies smushed up against other, strobe lights, and the strong smell of sweat and alcohol. "Sure doesn't take long for Spencer to land back on his feet." I mumbled to myself. I pushed my way through the bodies and went to the v.i.p area I knew Spencer would be, Johnny stood off by a wall so he could still see me and gave me a nod when he was happy. I pulled the netted curtains apart and saw Spencer. I could feel a slight pain in my chest when I saw his face, even though it had been a while since I saw him clearly the bruises haven't healed that well. He had medical tape above his right eye holding together a cut, bruises on his jaw and left eye and another scab on his lower jaw. "Hey Spencer." I said before walking into his open arms and hugging him.

"Hey doll, how are you?" He asked, his eyes full of concern. I traced a bruise with my hand but he waved it away. "Don't worry about it." I sat down next to him and noticed how there were several of Joker's men around the club. "He likes to keep a close eye on everything that happens here." He commented. "Still, better than being dead I guess."

"Spencer… I'm really sorry about-"

"I'll have none of that." He interrupted. "We all knew what we were getting ourselves into, and we're incredibly grateful of what you did for us. It was either very brave or very stupid." He commented with a wink.

"Between you and me I think it was a bit of both." I tried to joke, but I had lost a bit of my sense of humour. "I feel like I'm suffocating in that house. Harley tries to help me but everything's just hanging over my head."

He rubbed my knee. "What do you mean?" He pressed.

"I like Harley I really do but… I don't want to end up like her." I answered truthfully. "He's warped so many minds, I don't want to add mine to his list."

He shifted closer to me. "You know who you are sweetheart. Don't let him take away who you are and you'll be fine. Or just do what I do… drink and then you'll forget everything he's said to you." He winked as he handed me a drink.

What the hell? One drink wouldn't hurt.

I never stopped at one drink. As it turned out I really needed the alcohol to loosen up, and Spencer never said no to giving me another drink. So when I opened my eyes, I was heavily distracted with a massive headache. I could feel something pressed against my back, and an arm was resting on my hip. I inwardly cringed and prayed Johnny didn't let me go home with a stranger otherwise Joker would kill us both. I looked around to see that at least I was in my own room, and as I turned gently I saw the face of Johnny Frost. My heart skipped a beat, I looked down to see that thankfully we were both clothed. "Don't worry nothing happened." Johnny's muffled voice came from behind me. I turned around to face him and he smiled coyly. "You had way too much to drink and when I brought you back you wouldn't let go of me."

I groaned. "Ugh I'm sorry. I remember being at the club dancing with you but it's a bit flaky after that."

He chuckled at me. "I'm not complaining, I got to leave the club with a beautiful woman." He sat up and I got to have a good look at his sculpted abs. "Though Spencer wasn't all too pleased." He stretched and yawned.

I laughed. "He knows what I'm like when I drink, he should know better."

"Well I'm gonna need to keep that in mind." He winked at me causing me to blush.

"You're loving this aren't you?"

"Maybe a little bit." He got up and walked to my en suite bathroom.

I heard a knock at the door so I got up and answered it; wrapping a dressing down around my underwear clad body. Thankfully it was Harley stood at the door, she grinned widely when she saw me. "Wow Sugah looks like someone had fun last night." She was commenting on how I still had my make-up on from last night.

"Yeah I had a lot to drink." I rubbed my eyes and saw mascara on my fingers.

"Hey Tabs do you know where my shirt is?" Johnny asked as he got out of the bathroom. He froze when he saw Harley and I bit the inside of my cheek as I realised what the situation looked like.

He was shirtless, in my room, I was in a dressing gown that looked like I had nothing on underneath, and I had been drinking the night before. "This is not what it looks like I swear."

She cocked her eyebrow and licked her lips. "I'm clearly interrupting something. I'll pop back later."

She rushed off and I shut the door and leaned my head against the wood. "Oh brother." I mumbled.

Johnny chuckled. "I wouldn't worry about it too much Tabs. Rumours spread around everywhere about everyone." He found his shirt and put it on. "I'm gonna go and get a shower in my own room."

"I'm really sorry about last night again." I apologised.

"I'm not." This surprised me. "Look, I know you're still scared about everything here and I don't blame you but I'm here… so don't worry about offending me or anything. I'm not gonna hurt you." He opened the door and paused. "But Harley's probably gonna tease the hell out of you later." He shut the door behind him and I groaned heavily.

I need to quit drinking.


	12. What's Holding You Back?

Johnny was right, Harley wouldn't stop the teasing. Whenever Johnny was around she would shoot me a look and wink at me. "Harley would you please stop with the looks?" I asked exasperated.

I was sat on the sofa with a sketch pad and a pencil while Harley was on the floor cutting out shapes from coloured bits of paper. "Whatcha talkin' about?" She asked rather too innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about." I shot her a sly look which she just fluttered her eyelashes at me.

"I think ya'd make a cute couple to be honest." I rolled my eyes at her. "Hey if anything he'd probably be good in bed ya know."

She waggled her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes again. "Oh he probably is judging from that body of his." I remembered the sculpted stomach on him.

"What's holding you back?" She asked.

There was a pause as she waited for her answer and my mood dropped. "My past."

She noticed my drop in mood and sat up and kept a close eye on me. "Wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. "Not as a therapist but as your friend." She added quickly.

I thought about my words quickly. "I was hurt."

"Sounds like something worse than that you know." She wasn't pressing me to say too much but she was borderline.

"It was but there's nothing anyone can do about it now." I tried to evade this subject but fate was yet again not on my side.

"You're gonna tell me what happened. Now." I snapped my head to the door to see Joker leaning against the door frame.

I sat up and looked into his piercing eyes. "It's none of your business."

It would appear I didn't have a choice. "Now here's the thing; I own you. And you will tell me otherwise I will kill Spencer and everyone in that club."

I shook my head. "You can't-"

"You told me you'd never leave and that you'd do whatever I say." Damn. He was right. "Come on love, spill that dark secret of yours."

His smile vexed me to no end and I was frustrated to no end. He wanted to know then fine, he would hear it. "Fine, you wanna know well here you go Jerry Springer!" I stood up as did Harley. "When I was in school I had an abusive boyfriend who I was too afraid to leave. He would lock me away for days on end, hit me until I bled and kept constant tabs on my whereabouts. I couldn't get the job I wanted and I had no rights to my own body in his mind."

Both Harley and Joker were seething. "How did you get out?" Harley asked; though I could hear the anger behind her calm demeanour.

"One night after he was drinking too much and trying to force me into the bedroom, I hit him over the head with the baseball bat he used to hit me with and ran out of Gotham." I explained, I visibly had calmed from my explosive mood. "I ran and didn't look back until Spencer rang me because he was in trouble." I breathed out a couple of times. "There you wanted to know and that's it."

"Do you wish he was dead?" Harley asked.

"Yes." My answer was so more honest than I thought it would be. "I wish I kept hitting him across the head and ended his pathetic existence."

Joker smirked. "Done." I cocked an eyebrow. "Give me his name and we'll kill him."

I crossed my arms. "On one condition." I had enough of being afraid of my past, if I was to be Joker's prisoner for ever then I'm just going to let my morals go. "I'm the one who gets to kill the bastard."

I was tightening the laces on my boots when Harley lightly padded into my room. "I understand your anger Sugah I really do… you're not the killing kind."

I finished and looked at her with an indignant look. "How would you know what I'm like?" She looked a little taken aback. "This guy has scarred me for life and I want some justice that I never got from the joke we call the police force."

"You'll never go back from killing someone."

"What else can I lose?" I questioned, she couldn't give me an answer. "My life is already caged enough. This man is someone I want to die."

"Well… the only thing I'm sad about it that I'm not gonna see this dick die." She smirked.

"You're not coming?" I asked.

"No Mister J thought it would be better if it was you and him."

This didn't quite sit right with me but I was just going to roll with it. "Okay, works for me."

Kaleb was situated on the far side of Gotham, and with the late hour we were informed that he was at his apartment. This would be easy, go in, kill him, go out.

Clockwork.


	13. I Enjoyed It

What the hell was going through my mind? I'm certainly not a saint but was I really a killer? I was sat in the car aware it was only Joker and myself. He looked determined and stiff. His eyes fixed dead ahead of him while gripping on to his gun. "You look tense." I couldn't help but comment though I knew I probably shouldn't.

He stretched his neck. "I am. This guy hurt you."

I cocked an eyebrow. "And this bothers you?" I asked; why did this mater so much.

"Yes."

"Why?"

I felt like I was either playing 20 questions, or poke the bear with a stick. I hoped it was the first option. "You're mine and no-one hurts you." He gave me a quick glance before returning his gaze to ahead.

"He did this to me before I even met Spencer. Why does it matter to you so much?" I really should learn to shut up.

"Because my dear, I will push what you think is possible. You're trapped in the past. Let go of it."

"And killing him will do that?"

He smiled slowly and seductively. "It will open your mind." The car pulled to a stop. "Showtime."

The only way I could describe the next couple of hours was like what happens when you get blackout drunk and can't remember parts of the night. What I do remember is the drive, lights flickering revealing a battered and bruised Kaleb. He was crying, begging me to forgive him. To spare him and let his whole thing go. I didn't listen. I kept hitting him with these brass knuckles Mister J gave me. Even after I knew he was dead I continued to hit him. All of my anger, frustration, and sadness was poured into this lifeless corpse.

The drive home I gained back my consciousness. Mr J was staring at me with hungry eyes and it was beginning to make me squirm. I wiped spots of blood off my face. "You enjoyed that didn't you doll?" He asked, he voice softer than normal.

I didn't want to admit it but I did. "It's over and done with now." I avoided the question, and sighed heavily. "He's a part of my life now erased."

"Now you can start a whole new one." He laughed that eerie sound that chilled and elevated me at the same time. "Just you wait doll, you and me… we're gonna do such great things. I'm gonna open your eyes to all the possibilities. Throw your morals out of the door. Live by your own rules."

I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. "You mean you, Harley and myself right?"

His smile fell ever so slightly. "She's so predictable… does anything to make her Puddin' happy."

"And what do you think you will get from me?" I asked even though I dreaded the answer.

He moved closer to me, but I was against the window and in no way of escaping from him. "You're gonna give me excitement." His voice got noticeably lower.

I gritted my teeth and tried to calm my heart and what he was doing to me. "You'll get nothing from me." My breathing was beginning to become erratic.

"I will have everything from you." He tucked a hair behind my ear. "Like I promised, I will unravel your mind and make you mine."

"My mind is perfectly fine." My voice quivered.

"That coming from a woman who brutally murdered her ex?" He questioned. "Coming from a girl who originally said she was nothing like me and wasn't a killer?" Shit. He was right. "It's already begun." Thankfully the car stopped in front of the mansion and I bolted out of the car. "You can't run from me!" He shouted at me but I saw he made no move to run after me. "You're my little wild pet!"

I ran straight to my room and slammed the door shut and slid against the door to the floor. I had done it. I had actually killed someone. I had never done something like that and had now made myself a criminal. He was succeeding. He wasn't just making me crazy, he was killing me. And moulding a new person in the shape of my body. That was how he worked; he broke you in and inserted a new person in their place.

The only issue was he was also right about another thing. I liked it.

The exhilaration of killing someone. The power of life and death in one's hands. Painting a picture with his blood and revelling his facial expressions. And finally watching those cold, emotionless eyes fade out into nothingness felt so good and satisfying. That was a one off. I'm not a killer. I'm not.

But I killed someone.


	14. What Happened To Me?

I couldn't let him win. I needed to act as normal as possible.

Easier said than done.

I found myself being driven to Spencer's house by Johnny as I needed to see him and get his opinion on this situation. Johnny parked the car and opened the door for me. "Feel free to drink." He winked causing me to let out a small laugh. He noticed how I was lower than normal. "Hey," He caught my arm before I walked to the building. "I know you're not feeling so good right now, but I'm always here."

I smiled softly. "Thanks Johnny."

He nodded. "I'll just be outside."

I used my key to get into Spencer's apartment. I called out for him and was met with a vague comment about him being in the shower. I settled for getting myself a coffee whilst I waited for him to exit the shower. Sure enough I heard the water turn off and Spencer appeared a little while later with a pair of jeans on and he was pulling on a white t-shirt. He quickly pulled me into a tight hug. "God I missed you." We sat down on the sofa and he gave me a look of concern. "I heard about what you did to Kaleb."

I laughed humourlessly. "Word spreads fast."

He didn't smile. "Even the Bat has heard about you now." There was an awkward silence between us. "What were you thinking?"

I cocked my eyebrow. "What?"

He made a noise cross between frustration and anger. "The Tabby I know would never kill someone. She's the furthest thing from a killer."

"Am I?" I questioned without even thinking about it. "Let's look at my life, I come from a damaged home, was tormented by her boyfriend for years, and was more than prepared to kill him to get away from him at that."

"Would you listen to yourself?" He nearly shouted. "This behaviour isn't normal!" His voice continued to get louder. "That monster has warped you into another version of Harley Quinn!"

"How dare you?!" I shouted back. "This coming from a man who owns a shady nightclub that's owned by this so called 'monster'. A man who deals guns and drugs on the side as well." He looked away guilty. "Yeah you didn't think I knew about that did you?"

He stood up and put his hands behind his head. "I did what I had to survive Tabatha."

"How is that any different to me Spencer?" I got up and made him face me. "How?!"

"Because you're you!"

I shook my head. "What I am is someone who has been trapped her whole life when the people around me told me I was free. The ironic thing… I've meant to have lost my freedom with the Joker. Yet I've never felt more free."

"God do you hear yourself?! You sound like a delusional, psychotic little girl!" He hed onto my arms, too hard causing me to flinch. "You need to listen to me."

"I don't need to do anything." I ripped my arms away from him. "I certainly don't need to listen to a man I've never loved."

I saw pain flicker through his eyes before I felt pain. He slapped me across my face; the shock and force behind it knocked me to my feet. I felt pain across my right side of my face and as I felt my lip I pulled away to see red on my fingers. He had split my lip. Realising what he had done, he shook free from his anger. "Tabatha…"

He tried to help me up. "Don't you dare touch me." I got up by myself. "We say thoughtless things when we're angry and I can forgive that." I could see the pain increase in his eyes with his hand held mid air. "But you… of all people striking me."

I walked around him to the door. "Tabatha I'm sorry."

I whipped around. "Fuck your apologies! You've shown me who you are, I was blinded by our friendship to see it. You're no better than any of them."


	15. I Won't Deny You

I couldn't look at Johnny. I had only just managed to convince him to keep what happened a secret between us two, and it was even harder to convince him to not go in after Spencer. I get that we were both angry and said some things we didn't mean, but he's never raised a hand against me and I felt betrayed. I went straight to my room and shut the door behind me, annoyingly there wasn't a lock and this could raise an issue. If Mister J found out that Spencer had hit me to the point where he had cut my lip then there's no way he'd live for another hour. As much as I was angry at Spencer, he didn't deserve to die.

I fell into a false sense of security after no-one had come to my room for a whole day. This was shattered as there was a knock on the door. "Hey Sugah?" Harley called cheerfully form the other side of the room. "Can I come in?"

I panicked and stood right in front of the door. "Uh, I wouldn't recommend it hunny." I called out to her and prayed she didn't open the door.

"You alright sugah?" She asked with a concerned voice.

"Yeah I'm just feeling really sick is all." I coughed for good measure.

"Want me to come in and look after you?" I could hear her hand on the door handle.

"No!" I nearly shouted. "No I wouldn't want you to catch it. I'm throwing up all the time, it's nasty I look like a mess."

There was a pause for a little bit and I was praying she bought it. "Ok Tabby. I'll send Johnny around later to give you food and drink. Feel better soon Sugah." I heard her skip away and I let out a breath in relief.

As much as I had grown closer to her, she would have had a very similar reaction to Mister J if she saw my lip. I went to the bathroom mirror and looked at my face, it had gotten worse overnight; a bruise was on my cheek and my lip looked awful. The blood had dried and was painful to touch.

I was going stir crazy in the room. I had plenty to do but I felt cramped and stuffy in the room. I paced back and forth thinking what to do, it was only a matter of time before one of them found out. "Hey Tabby Cat!" The voice I was not looking forward to hearing just burst into my room before I could react. Joker's smile dropped instantly and he pointed a finger at my face. "Who?" I began to shake and didn't say a word, he of course didn't like this and walked towards me; backing me into the wall behind me. "Who hurt you?" He trapped my head between his hands; I could feel his breath on my face.

His eyes were angry… but there was something else and I had no idea what it was. "It doesn't matter." I managed to choke out.

"To hell it doesn't!" He barked. "No-one hurts you! Who? Was it Harley? Johnny?"

"No!" I blurted. "Neither of them would lay a hand on me."

His eyes widened and he put the pieces together. "Spencer is dead for sure this time." He turned.

I quickly grabbed his arm. "No Mister J please!" He turned to face me and I could tell he was going to kill Spencer. He had the same look in his eyes as I did with Kaleb. "Don't kill him it was in heat of the moment."

"He struck you! You think I'm gonna let that stand?" He shook my hand free but didn't move from his spot. "You wanted Kaleb dead for hitting you but not Spencer? What's the difference?!"

"I don't know! I just don't want him dead." I added softly.

He let out a noise of frustration and ran his hands through his hair. "You're mine. He doesn't get to hurt you without consequence."

I didn't know what to do. "Why are you so worked up about this? I don't understand. I'm just another piece of property to you aren't I?"

"No." He almost immediately responded. "We both know you've never been that to me. I want him hurt for hurting you."

"What can I do?" He turned to face me. "What can I do to change your mind?"

A small smiled curled at the corner of his lips. "How about you give me the truth?" I tilted my head in confusion. "What am I to you?"

There was a pregnant pause between us and I knew he would catch on if I lied. "I feel… safe around you. Don't get me wrong I hated your guts at first and couldn't stand to touch you."

He stalked towards me again. "And now?"

"You have this… magnetic pull. You've given me freedom I never thought I needed." This time having him so close made my heart beat quicker for a new reason. I looked to the floor avoiding his piercing eyes. "Now I want…"

He hooked his finger under my chin forcing me to look up, and stroked my cheek. "Tell me. What you want, you shall have."

I had enough. "You."

He didn't need to hear any more words as he crashed his lips against mine. A fire that had been dormant inside me had been rekindled as I melted into the embrace of the mad clown. He lifted me up and I gladly wrapped my legs around his midsection and let him carry me to the bed. He set me down against the pillows and stood at the end of the bed and took off his tie slowly. "Like I said… I won't deny you."


	16. Regret?

Parts of who I was had begun to disappear. It happened before I even met the Joker if I was honest with myself. Lying in bed with the very man who held me captive seemed the furthest thing a girl with perfect sanity would do. But now I was questioning if such a thing even exists in the world.

I quietly slipped out of bed and tried to ignore the ache in my legs and the bruising around my hips. Unfortunately my movement didn't go unnoticed. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked in a raspy voice.

"For a walk." I said as I pulled on a pair of trousers and covered my chest with a top.

"Come back to bed silly girl." He smiled as he put a hand behind his head. "I'm not done with you yet."

"I'm not a silly girl Joker." I said rather curtly. "I got out of my head last night-"

"Exactly."

I stopped in my tracks. "What?"

His smile returned to his face and I wanted to slap him then slap myself. "It's the last step you know. Having no control over your body. Let go of it and hand it to me." He sat up in the bed.

I frowned at him. "I am in control. I don't need to give it to anyone." I voiced out. "I am not yours!"

He looked angry. "Last night you had no issue yelling out my name in submission."

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. "What I like about you is physical. You may have my body. But my soul is mine."

I walked around the house until I sat down by the fountain and waited for a while just looking at the dusky sky. I sighed heavily and felt a pang of guilt in my stomach. "Hey sugah." I turned to see Harley walking towards me. She had a pair of black tight trousers, red boots and a green spaghetti strap top on. "You look like you have thoughts on your mind."

The pang of guilt intensified as I saw her kind face and what I had done to her. "I do."

She lightly touched my leg in comfort. "I know you don't like talking but… I do got a Phd ya know."

"I wouldn't know where to start Harley." I said so quiet if she wasn't sat next to me she wouldn't have heard.

"Start from where you think it's relevant."

"I did something horrible. In fact I've done a couple of horrible things." I scratched my head. "I killed somebody… and I only just think it's dawned on me what that's meant. I liked it."

"What's the problem with that?" She asked with a small smirk.

"It's not the worst thing I've done." She tilted her head to a side and popped her gum. "And what I'm scared about, is not the person I've hurt killing or hurting me… but how I may lose her as a friend."

She touched my leg. "I know." My head snapped to her and panic spread through my body. "Me and Puddin' have an understanding ya know?"

"I'm really sorry Harley. I gave in to my… base urges." I couldn't look at her.

"No need to be sorry. I won't lie, I'm a little hurt but you sounded like you were gonna tell me." She held my hand and got me to look at her. Her bright blue eyes were not angry, or sad. More of an understanding raced through them. "I know better than most how charismatic and alluring he is."

"I didn't know what was happening until it was too late." She just rubbed my hand and nodded in understanding. I looked to the sky and let out a deep sigh. "What a mess."

"I wish we met under different circumstances." Harley said out of nowhere.

"Why?"

She smiled lightly and swung her legs back and forth. "I used to have a couple of friends; Red and Selina. They were good girls who I loved. I would have asked if you could join the gang." Her smile fell slightly. "But the gang's kinda broken up right now." She shrugged. "Complications."

"I'm sorry Harls. I've messed this up."

She lightly nudged me. "I'll forgive you on one condition."

"Anything." I immediately said.

She held onto my hand tighter. "Leave with me."

You could hear a pin drop. "What?"

"You, me… I know Red will welcome us where she is." She got up and kneeled in front of me, her smile wide. "Let's leave all this behind. He never lets me have any fun anymore, me and you; we could do anything." She looked down at our hands which I didn't realise were in hers, she looked so serious. So concerned as well. "What do you say Sugah?"


	17. Escape With Harley?

What if this was a test? For all I know she could be wanting to kill me, and all this was a cover to mask her fury at me. Not that I would blame her. I went back to my room and Joker was still asleep in my bed. I couldn't bring myself to just go back and join him, so I went for a shower. I was lost in the warm droplets running down my back that I didn't notice the door open. I turned to see Joker leaning against the door with his trousers sat low on his hips. He had a smirk on his face and his eyes were roaming shamelessly over my body. He had already seen me so there was no need for me to cover myself. "How are you feeling this morning?" He asked in a raspy voice.

"I'm fine." I answered almost robotically.

"Good." He stood off the doorframe and walked a bit more into the bathroom. "I'll want you later before I leave for a week."

"You're going away?" I asked without even thinking.

"Yeah I got things to do. Nothing a girl like you would understand." I rolled my eyes at him, I didn't appreciate being belittled like that. "Careful Tabby Cat. You're mine now. I enjoyed your spark before, but I grow tired of correcting you. Don't make me grow bored of you." His tone turned dangerous very quickly and I could feel myself shake slightly. "Am I clear?" He walked closer to the shower.

"Yes Mister J." I managed to say, my voice faltering ever so slightly. I watched him walk out and I heard the door to my room open and close. I sunk to the bottom of the shower and had made my decision.

Harley and I didn't need to pack anything but our guns and a jacket. I hopped on the back of her motorcycle and we flew like the devil was at our heels. Gotham was an easy city to get lost in, so we ended up at an abandoned building. I got off and took my helmet off my head. "Where are we Harley?" I asked.

"This isn't the first time I've left Mister J." She said and I couldn't miss the sad look on her face. "I love him and everything… but Red always used to tell me I needed more respect for myself."

I tilted my head to the side. "Why did you bring me with you?" I asked as we stepped into the building. We walked up a set of stairs and I was pleasantly surprised to see that it looked rather homely; a set of sofas, a tv, a table with a board game on it. Coffee tables, to a side I saw what was the kitchen area, and then there was another set of stairs that led to a bedroom. "You could have left me to Joker and I would have ended up going nuts."

She smiled. "Ya forget sweetheart, I'm pretty nuts too." She put a bag on the sofa and walked to me. "For what it's worth, I think you and I have a better dynamic than me and Mister J." She kissed my cheek before disappearing into the kitchen. "I contacted Red by the way. Hopefully at some point she'll meet us here." I heard her call out. "This can be your home now. I know it ain't nothing compared to Mister J's place. But it has wifi and everything. It's safe too."

I settled myself on the sofa and let out a sigh. "Thanks Harley." She popped her head around the corner and winked. "I think I was confused; I thought it was Joker that gave me my freedom."

She grinned. "I can do it so much better Sugah!" She returned with pizza.

I cocked an eyebrow. "Where did the pizza come from?" I couldn't believe how she would literally spring things out of nowhere.

She smiled coyly. "If I'm honest, I had everything ready since yesterday so this was just in the fridge."

I took a slice and ate it hungrily. "Pizza always tastes good the day after."

** 3 days later **

Harley had just robbed a jewellery store as she was going through her bags of loot. "Have fun Harls?" I asked as I was at the table sketching. We had grown even closer than before, she always made sure I was feeling okay and felt safe. We had broken into a lab the other day and stole a couple of hyenas that were experimented on, and named them Bud and Lou. Lou was a little closer to me and Bud was Harley's special boy. Lou was sleeping at my feet and I always felt secure with her around me… probably because I knew she'd maul anyone who came near me.

"Yeah, I had to shoot the guy in the office though as he looked at me funny." I rolled my eyes at her playfully. "I got ya something." She walked to me and handed me a necklace. It was a lovely gold chain with a detailed rose pendant on it.

"Oh Harley I love it." She put it on me. "Thank you."

She quickly leaned in front of me. "Anything for you." She gave me a quick peck on my mouth before going back to her loot. I stopped questioning to myself her little kisses; she was a sweet girl who was very affectionate. We even shared the same bed as for one there was only one bed to begin with, but also I couldn't sleep without someone next to me anymore. "Say Sugah do you think-"

And that was it.

What was next was an explosion knocking me to the floor and a sharp ringing in my ears. I could hear Bud and Lou yapping like crazy but it was like I had cloth stuffed in my ears. All I could make out were blurred shapes before I blacked out.


	18. Pain

He laughed, a sound that I used to like just made me feel ghastly. "Save me a spot Tabby Cat." He walked over to a machine and I felt scared. It was a machine that was going to send electric waves through me. "You'll have a shocking time!" His laugh was loud.

And that was then I felt it.

Pain.

There was no other way to describe how it felt having volts of electricity go through your entire body. He would stop for a few moments, where I could hear Harley crying out, shouting to him to let me go. Then the pain would start up again.

And again.

And again.

I could feel my conscious slip away. But just barely I raised my head to see Joker kneeling in front of me again. "Are you going to be a good girl and come back with me? You won't run away again? What do you say Tabby Cat?"

I smiled slowly. "You know you're starting to make sense…" He grinned. "It must be time to up my medication." I heard Harley let out a short laugh.

"You're being stupid girl! I am the one who can give you everything! And you'd throw that away?!" He half yelled.

"Keep talking… you're bound to say something intelligent eventually." I spat out some blood in my mouth onto his shirt.

"Fine." He turned up the notch and slammed down the switch. I went numb. Tears were welling in my eyes and I couldn't take it anymore.

So I let go.

Peaceful sleep sounded like a good option for me.

But I didn't get it. I bolted awake and found the room was empty, Harley was gone but I could hear her screaming in another room. I looked at my wrists and there were burn marks by the straps, I struggled against the straps but I broke right through them and nearly fell forward. I detached myself from the seat and walked to the door, but I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the broken mirror opposite. Something had happened to me.

My skin had turned light egg blue, and my hair was a cadet grey and looked quite frizzy. Most shocking were my eyes, I had to move closer to the mirror to see that the iris had gone white, leaving my black pupil and an outline of dark grey. I didn't know what to make of myself but I knew I needed to get to Harley.

I opened the door but a thug was out in the hallway. "Hey! You're meant to be dead!" He came at me with a knife.

I held out my hands instinctively. And electric waves shot out of my hands at him. I literally burned a hole through his chest. He wore a shocked expression on his face before he fell to the floor with a thud. My fingers were blackened at the ends, but I didn't feel any pain. "I did have a shocking time." I said to myself. "Thanks Mister J." I smiled to myself before leaving to get Harley away from him for good.


	19. Livewire

I ripped the door open that I heard the loudest screams belonging to Harley. Fury went through my entire body when I saw what he did to her; she was lying on the floor with a steel rod going through her hand and he was holding a knife and there were scratches all over her body. Joker looked at me and his eyes widened. "How-"

I didn't let him finish. "Surprise bitch!" I yelled before punching him across the room. So that theory about me having enhanced strength has been proven. "Cool." I mumbled to myself. I saw his goons come towards me so I managed to summon the electric pulses and this knocked them into the wall with such force they left a dent, I didn't know if I killed them but I didn't care. I ran to Harley and slowly pulled the rod out of her hand. "Harley it's okay." I whispered. "I'm here." I stroked the side of her face.

Her smile disappeared as quickly as it appeared. "Sugah!" She shouted.

I turned around to see Joker, he had struck me with the knife. But he had only grazed me. I sent an electric wave through him which knocked him back. I stood up and glared at him as he began to laugh. "You've got your own set of tricks now Tabby Cat? Electric shock therapy was always my favourite part of the treatment!" He swung at me several times and we each landed punched on each other. "Come one Tabby Cat! Is that all you got?!"

Anger flared through me and I shot out electricity through my fingers. Only the stream didn't stop, it kept going into him. His metal teeth glowed from the heat and he fell to the floor. "No… that's probably all I got."

I reached down and took the knife from him and hovered over his neck. "Go on sweetheart." He said in a raspy voice. How he was still alive I could never figure out. "Kill me."

I pressed the knife against his throat. Blood began to seep from the small wound I gave him. "I felt something for you once." I didn't realise I couldn't move a muscle. "Whether it was physical or what… you showed me what it was like to throw away my self-doubt." I turned to see Harley unconscious. "But if I kill you Harley would never recover. For her sake… I'll let you live." I threw the knife to the wall. "If she goes back to you and you hurt her, I may revisit my decision."

I was about to get up before he yanked on my head and kissed me passionately, his lips created that spark I found when I first kissed him. As I pulled away he smiled. "I look forward to when we cross paths again Tabby Cat."

I smirked before punching him in the face and knocking him out. "I don't believe I gave my consent for that kiss."

I walked to Harley and shook her gently, she fluttered her eyelashes causing me to breathe a sigh of relief that she was alive. "You're okay." She whispered.

"You're not going to be if I don't get you to a doctor." I picked her up and walked out of the building.

"You're electric." Her voice was faint but I'm glad she was remaining conscious. "You're a supervillain now."

"I'm gonna need a codename." I said in a nonchalant way. I saw Joker's car and put Harley in, I got into the driver's seat and looked over to her. "I think I like Livewire. It suits."

She smiled widely. "Well then, Livewire… we're gonna have so much fun!"


	20. My Girls

p data-p-id="e805a7b6dd5a6a72f9e3d582462ce6f7"Harley was sat on the floor of our new building that had extra security measures now. She had fully healed and I was really coming to terms with what I am now. I was happy though, I loved Harley to pieces and I was okay with that. She loved me in return so what did I have to complain about there? She was having fun playing with Bud with a chew toy. I was just finishing cutting my hair. "What do you think?" I asked as I turned from the mirror to look at her./p  
p data-p-id="c33acd2b1bcc817feb500db4214317ad"I had cut it very short to a pixie cut and put a little gel through it. "Oh Sugah I love it." She grinned widely. "Very sleek twenty-first century business woman. Or villain however you wanna look at it." I winked at her. A knock at the door broke us both out of our little world. Harley sniffed the air and smiled. "I know that perfume anywhere." She jumped up and ran to the door. As she opened the door, there stood one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Her complexion was a very pale green, and she wore a leotard made of ivy leaves. As soon as I saw her wavy scarlet red hair I knew who she was. "Red! I'm so happy to see you." /p  
p data-p-id="74baa09d9f17e24b8c20e8c141977a94"They shared a hug before Ivy stepped into the room. she smiled at me, it was a warm one so I wasn't worried as I stood up to greet her. "I had to find out for myself who this infamous Livewire was, you're the one who leveled the Wayne warehouses on Dock 42 right?"/p  
p data-p-id="72cd8fb67765e640be59efca254acc23"I smiled back at her. "He called my girl crazy."/p  
p data-p-id="24f4c79dcea2e5bf64e371c52c48d893"Her smile grew wider. "We're gonna get along just fine." She winked before enveloping me in a hug. "So ladies..." She had her arm around my shoulders and her other one was on her hip. "What shall we do first?"/p 


End file.
